Setting boundaries as a coach without scaring off your coachee
Setting boundaries is an important skill for any coach. Boundaries not only protect your energy and time, but they also help your coachee have clear expectations. However, setting boundaries can be a challenge. You don’t want your coachee to feel less heard or to be put off by strict agreements.
The great thing is that setting boundaries actually creates more trust, respect, and professionalism. You can do this in a way that is clear, but also comes across as empathetic and warm. Here are several ways you can set and maintain boundaries while still maintaining that open and supportive relationship with your coachee.
1. Clear agreements
Setting boundaries starts from the first meeting with your coachee. This moment is the perfect opportunity to clarify your working method, expectations and practical agreements. By discussing boundaries and expectations from the start, you reduce the chance of miscommunication later. Here are some points you can discuss in the first session:
Duration and frequency of sessions
Clearly indicate how long the sessions will last and how often you will speak to each other. Let it be known whether flexibility is possible or whether you work with fixed times, so that the coachee knows exactly what to expect.
Accessibility between sessions
Explain how and when you can be reached outside of scheduled sessions. Some coachees may expect you to be available at all times for questions or advice, but this can be a drain on your energy and focus. By indicating that you will only respond during office hours, for example, you can prevent unrealistic expectations. Trackler makes this easy with automations such as automatic messages that inform your coachees about your availability.
Structure of homework or assignments
Set clear expectations about assignments and homework that the coachee has to do. For example, use the task function in Trackler to easily share assignments and add notes. This way your coachee knows what is expected of him or her and can prepare them at their own pace.
2. Learn to say “no” respectfully
It may happen that a coachee asks for extra attention outside of the sessions, despite the predetermined agreements. Although this is understandable, you cannot always meet these requests without overstepping your own boundaries. It is therefore important to be able to say 'no' in a respectful and clear way. Here are some tips on how to do this.
Say no politely and offer alternatives
Thank the coachee for the question and emphasize that you understand that he or she needs additional support. Then politely decline the request and offer alternatives. For example: “Thank you for your question. In order to keep our sessions effective, I would like to address these points during our scheduled appointment. If you would like, we can schedule an additional session for that.”
Communicate the importance of self-reflection
Encourage your coachees to first find a solution themselves or to think carefully about a question before asking it. By doing this, you promote their self-reliance and prevent that not only you always have to provide the answer, but that they also actively work on their development, which is certainly an important goal within the coaching process.
3. Promote open and constructive communication
A strong coach-coachee relationship is not only built on setting boundaries, but also on an open communication culture. By encouraging coachees to share their questions and concerns openly, you create a safe environment where boundaries emerge naturally. Here are some ways you can do this:
Ask for feedback
Feedback helps you discover what works in your coaching style and where there is still room for improvement. This can also be a moment to reflect on boundaries and agreements. For example, after a number of sessions, ask your coachee whether he or she likes the frequency of sessions and whether the agreements are clear. This leaves room for improvement, while your boundaries remain in place.
Schedule check-in times
In addition to feedback, it is valuable to regularly take a short moment to ask how the coachee experiences the process. This makes the coachee feel heard and appreciated, and prevents him or her from feeling put off by your boundaries.
Encourage self-reliance
To prevent your coachee from becoming too dependent, it is important to provide him or her with the right tools and skills. Think of assignments or exercises that help develop self-reflection and problem-solving skills. Trackler offers various tools and e-learning modules that you can use to help your coachee grow.
4. Manage everything with a central app
With a centralized app like Trackler, you can bring all your appointments, communication, and tools together in one place. This not only makes your work more efficient, but also provides a clear structure and overview for the coachee. By recording all appointments and assignments in Trackler, both parties have clarity about expectations and you can more easily guard boundaries.
Key benefits of Trackler include:
- One central place for communication and appointments: With Trackler, you don’t have to switch between different channels. You can schedule appointments, send reminders and capture messages directly, so both you and the coachee always have an overview.
- Work safely and clearly: Trackler stores notes, assignments and data safely, so that privacy is always guaranteed. This gives both you and your coachee the confidence that all information is in good hands.
Setting boundaries can be difficult, but it is very important for a successful and sustainable coach-coachee relationship. By making clear agreements from the start, respectfully saying no when necessary, and ensuring open communication, you build a good foundation of trust and respect. Trackler helps you with this by managing all communication, agreements and tools in one place. This way, you as a coach keep a good insight into your trajectories and you stay true to your own boundaries.
